Tough times.. are inevitable on this planet. We go through deaths, break ups, losses, etc etc. On these circumstances, we need people who care about our well-being, and know how to hold space for us. It takes such self-awareness and presence to master this.
When one’s in a vulnerable state, it’s best to just hold space for them and to be fully present with them. There are no words need to be spoken. There’s no fixing that needs to be done. Not even giving any advise. That isn’t what they need at this state. What they need is a safe space to be, to express, and be held, without being judged, told what to do, and be corrected. You may just be doing more damage by imposing your way of fixing things and your thoughts on the situation. If it’s asked for, then yes, by all means, but be gentle and compassionate.
Holding space is having an open heart, free of judgment, and letting go of our need to control and “save” others.
Here are some tips on how to hold a safe and sacred space for someone:
1. Be Completely Present. Let them speak. Let them express their emotions, without any judgment even if they don’t make any sense.
2. Listen. Sometimes, we tend to take what is being said and see how it applies to us and then we speak about it and make it about us. No, this isn’t about you. Ssshh.. JUST LISTEN.
3. Don’t give any advise unless asked for. Give gentle advise and only what they can take at the moment.
4. Let them trust their own intuition and wisdom. This is their journey.
6. Leave your ego out the door.
7. Don’t try to fix anything.
8. Give graceful guidance, but again, let go of control. Being held in a safe and sweet container is the best healing thing you can offer someone when your support is needed.
Love, Blefourie
